50 Cent’s Beef With The Game

Published in the Desert Valley Times
March 22, 2005

A war broke out recently that, for a change, had nothing to do with Iraq, Afghanistan, or any other oil-bearing desert region.
The war was between 50 Cent and The Game.
Sounds like the tale of a kid in an arcade, doesn’t it?
No, children in an arcade have far too much intelligence for this particular brand of conflict.
You see, for those like me who are terminally unhip, “50 Cent” is the pseudonym of a rapper.
Not to be confused with a 50-cent wrapper, which is a paper tube used to gather pennies.
It’s not the name of the rapper’s group, it’s the dude’s moniker.
If you’re going to say the name in public, you need to know that it’s not pronounced “fifty cent” unless you want to get laughed out of middle school.
It’s “fitty sint.”
I’ve heard this gentleman’s music.
For my money, 50 cents would be about twice what the CD is worth.
But apparently the kiddies like his music about murder and pimping and the ‘hood, so who am I to judge.
Anyway, it turns out that there used to be a member of his “posse,” which is rapper shorthand for those who choose to share his company, named The Game.
(Doesn’t anybody name their kid “John” or “Freddy” anymore?)
The rumor is that The Game “dissed” fitty cint, expressing loyalty to a rival performer, which evoked cint’s ire.
Now let’s not get too high and mighty here.
I’ll admit I liked Elvis Presley when I was a kid.
I’ll also admit to watching more than one Elvis movie where the king opened up a can of whoop-butt on a rival fishing boat captain, a rival race car driver, a rival treasure hunter, and even a rival cliff diver.
So musicians beating each other up isn’t a novel concept.
But unlike a mere Hollywood thrashing solved by somebody getting the girl, the conflict between 50 Cent and The Game broke out in gunfire at a radio station.
Very un-Elvis-ish.
Afterwards, the two “gangstas” postured and howled at the moon about wounded pride and vengeance.
But then, somebody got in their ear and explained that maybe killing other musicians isn’t the best way to promote an album.
No, it wasn’t the police. (Does ANYBODY in the entertainment industry listen to them anymore?)
Most likely it was somebody WAY more important, like a record producer or a publicist or the guy who drives the limo.
So, fast forward a few weeks, and we see 50 Cent and The Game making nice in public.
Neither of them came right out and said who did what to whom, but it’s all better now.
In fact, they fixed it the way most celebrities and not a few liberal Democrats fix things: by throwing money at it.
Each of them pledged a few hundred thousand dollars to the other’s favorite charity, and now life in the ‘hood can go on.
Nobody’s going to jail (which is for mere mortals like taxi drivers and home improvement divas), nobody’s going to court, and everybody’s CD gets a sales boost, which is about as close to a happy ending as it gets in the hip hop world.
It sure gives a new meaning to such music industry expressions as “the song is number nine with a bullet” and “this song killed them at the radio station” and “this is his first shot at the big time.”
Which is why I’m sticking with country music, where all you have to do is avoid lights going out in Georgia and black-eyed peas consumed by guys named Earl.