Being Abnormal

I overheard a young woman talking with her friend recently, consoling him over the fact that he had apparently scored a 70% on some test he had taken.

Depending on where and when you went to school, some places consider 70% to be a “C” or “Average” grade.

Once upon a time, grades went like this:

A = Excellent
B = Good
C = Average
D = Poor
F = Failing

I was struck by the young woman’s explanation that the 70% “C” fell into a category I didn’t recall from school.

Apparently, here in the 21st century, the category is called “Normal” instead of average.

She didn’t elaborate on how the rest of the categories played out, but I found the notion to be fascinating, if not somewhat disturbing.

It occurred to me that “Normal” and “Average” are sometimes interchangeable terms.

However, in school parlance, I wondered what it meant if you earned a “B”, or God forbid, an “A”.

If a “C” is “Normal,” based on fundamental vocabulary principles, a “B” or “A” would have to be considered “Abnormal.”

I guess the new grading system would look like this:

A = Very Abnormal
B = Abnormal
C = Normal
D = Not Quite Normal
F = Fast Food Service Bound

I used to get a lot of A’s and B’s on my report card, so this revelation explains a lot.

“Normal” has never been a term used very often in my direction, so this system actually fits.

While I’m not altogether comfortable with the new description of higher-than-average grades as “Abnormal,” I still prefer it to the grading system that seems to be in use these days by some of the more liberal school systems which insist that no child’s fragile psyche should be damaged by something as stress-inducing or judgemental as tiered grades.

For example, I’ve heard that a number of California schools have implemented the following grading system:

A = Wonderful
B = Wonderful
C = Wonderful
D = Wonderful
F = Wonderful

I’ve often wondered how a valedictorian would be chosen at schools using such confidence-building grading systems, and whether the process involves names being drawn from a hat.

But even this scale is better than some progressive schools which have completely done away with grades altogether, as well as tests and homework.

We used to have an institution like this where I grew up.

It was called the penitentiary.

The difference is that, instead of receiving a cap and gown and a diploma, the alumni who graduated from that particular institution received $50 and a bus ticket.

Which is still way less stressful than failing Ms. Stoeri’s 11th grade Chemistry class.