21st Century Philosophers

Back when civilization was fresh out of the oven and still cooling on history’s window sill, the human condition was examined by such great men as Aristotle, Plato, and Socrates.
People would gather from miles around to hear the orations from these deep thinkers, who would expound about man’s destiny, the sciences, and how to pick up babes around the Parthenon.
One of my favorites is “the unexamined life isn’t worth living.”
This was one of the gems attributed to Socrates.
It’s odd that the “Big Three,” as they were called back in those swinging BC days (“Before Cable”), all hailed from Greece.
Socrates was the first, and was the teacher of Plato, who went on to open a vo-tech school for philosophers that was attended by Aristotle.
It reminds me of the chain between three of today’s great philosophers.
It all started with Richard Pryor, who was the teacher of Eddie Murphy, who went on to school Chris Rock.
Here in the 21st century, we don’t really have philosophers.
At least, none that get quoted like the “Big Three.”
I suspect it’s because the philosopher gig doesn’t pay very well.
Instead, we have comedians dispensing the little nuggets of wisdom that explain human behavior.
The high priests of humorous wisdom today include such philosophers as Dennis Miller, Bill Maher, Robin Williams, and Eddie Izzard.
Today’s lectern is the cathode-ray altar, and the current greats sometimes opt for Hawaiian shirts and sneakers instead of robes and sandals (although Izzard often espouses his soliloquies while wearing a skirt and open-toed high heels).
Socrates was run out of town and eventually died because of his opinions.
Maher was run off the air, and his show “Politically Incorrect” was killed because of his opinions.
Fortunately, it’s just a sign that we are more civilized today, since we tend to reward our philosophers with big contracts funded by advertising dollars.
(I’m sure there’s an irony buried in there somewhere.)
Socrates died broke, mostly because he was never able to land that big chariot-wheel sponsorship.
And while today’s philosophers can choose to hawk Coke, Pepsi, Sprite, or “The Dew,” Socrates was pretty much limited to that one-time endorsement of Hemlock cola.
(I can see the TV tagline…”New and improved Hemlock cola. It’s a killer!”)
Admittedly, the words of Miller and Pryor and Williams probably won’t last through the centuries (although Pryor’s encouragement to speak up for your rights, “Act a fool, you’ll get your seat!” will probably show up in philosophy text books somewhere along the line).
But then, Aristotle never got a guest shot on the Leno show, so it all balances out.