Scientology
I try to keep an open mind about religion, although I am wary of nearly every organized religious body.
The recent stir about Tom Cruise and his belief in Scientology made me curious.
So I went online to try and research the core tenets of this burgeoning new belief system.
Here is what I learned:
First, L. Ron Hubbard is their Buddha.
Hubbard, the best-selling author of “Dianetics,” seems to be the lynchpin of the movement.
I’m always fascinated by obscenely wealthy men espousing their religious beliefs.
It actually makes more sense than our current system of worship, which is often led by guys who can’t even afford a decent haircut or a leisure suit that doesn’t make that “whick whick” noise when they walk.
I’m not saying that following rich guys on their lunatic crusades is a good idea either, as evidenced by those who really believed that six million dollars was going to buy Oral Roberts a “get out of heaven free” card, that Jimmy Swaggert didn’t have sexual relations with that woman, and that Jim Bakker could offer them a comfy place in the hereafter if they would just fund an adequate air-conditioning system for his pet’s dog house.
But maybe ol’ L-Ron is onto something, so I kept reading.
I now know that “the aims of Scientology are a world without insanity, without criminals, without war, where the able can prosper and where Man is free to rise to greater heights.”
I know this because they have it posted on nearly every page of their website.
Of course, nowhere on that website does it explain exactly how that’s to be done.
The answer is in one of the dozens of L. Ron Hubbard books that are offered for sale on the site.
Which is a hint that Scientology is a real profit-based religion.
Unlike the Mormons who will gladly have a pair of persuasive, clean-cut missionaries hand-deliver a free copy of the Bible and the Book of Mormon, or the Gideons who save souls every day with their free bedside Bibles in nearly every hotel in the country, it takes a major credit card to find salvation at the church of Scientology.
After an hour on the site, I still don’t know whether Scientologists believe in God, because they play their principles pretty close to the vest.
In fact, I haven’t seen this much institutional secrecy since the last three or four times people have tried to suck me into becoming an Amway distributor.
But I suspect the answer would be a big “no” on the Creator, since it appears ol’ L-Ron hasn’t figured a way to copyright his image or trademark.
It also appears that the church is just jammed full of former political speech writers and Madison Avenue execs whose previous God, swathed in green, let them down.
I say this because I haven’t seen so much intellectual misdirection, obfuscation, side-stepping, and double-speak since the Republican National Convention.
(Or maybe it was the Democratic National Convention. All those guys look alike to me.)
The Scientology website never does explain what they believe in, why they believe in it, or why we should believe, too.
Except of course for the fact that Tom Cruise believes in it.
Which, when you think about it, is really reason enough to sign up.
After all, can your prayers, rituals, or flagellations at whatever religious franchise you currently call home, help you land a date with Katie Holmes?
I rest my case.
8 Comments:
The red flag goes up for me when any religion needs to have Movie Stars preaching it...then again Christianity had they Superstar Jesus but it just isn't the same...
8:32 AM
I am open minded enough to believe that maybe some of the principals or disciplines that they practice in the religion might help make someone a better person, but replace religion or call itself a religion? That doesnt' work for me. With all of the publicity Tom has brought for the church, it makes one wonder if he is in for a cut of the take. That might be a little nasty.... but.... I also am suspicious of any religion where everything costs something and it is full of secrets.... okay, okay... that covers alot of them. Hmmmmm.... It seems fishy to me.
1:16 PM
Thanks for the link, Alison. It was the first time I have encountered the "G" word since looking into this. That one site (by the way, Michelle, a Canadian site) told me more about Scientology than an hour on the Scientology.org website.
One thing I have to give them, according to the Ontario site, they aren't an exclusive bunch. Apparently, it's okay to be a Scientologist and still belong to other churches. I like that. I'm so tired of various organized religious accusing all the other organized religions of being wrong and wicked.
As I've said often, I cite the great 20th century philosopher Redd Foxx (yes, of "Sanford and Son") who said "You've got Christians and Jews and Muslims and Catholics...which means somebody's lyin', and somebody's going to Hell. And it's going to be crow-ded! And if you don't get there early, you might not get a seat!"
I'm with you, Cindra! I'm suspicious of churches that require a cover charge. (As Arsenio Hall once mentioned...I have this vision of a nervous little guy in a sideways cap in front of the church going "I got two in the front! Down in front! Yeah!")
I also find it ironic that the Scientology church espouses a freedom from materialism, but you have to buy a $20 book to find out how.
I doubt that Tom is in it for the buck. You can find lunatics and zealots in just about any theological discipline. (See "Jim Jones," "David Koresh," and "Pat Robertson")
As far as the "What Scientology Can Do For Me," I actually consider that a breath of fresh air. After all, it's a question we ALL ask when querying which religious banner to camp beneath. For most Christians, it's a chance for at a spare room in Heaven. For Mormons, it's the terrestrial, telestial, and celestial kingdoms. For Muslims, it's a shot at those virgins. For the Jews, it's a respite from any planet that has "Kill The Jews" as a winning slogan among a sizeable portion of its occupants.
As for Tom's "hotness"...the relationship has too much of an "ick" factor for my taste, particularly when Holmes stated in a recent interview that, when she was a girl, she used to have posters of Tom Cruise on her bedroom walls, and used to fantasize about growing up and marrying him.
But you're right, Gabriel, hotness and wealth are the real currencies in today's world. (Although Julia Roberts seems to go out of her way to marry ugly guys, which is a wellspring of hope).
*Morris
3:42 PM
The only religion I looked in to because of a famous person was Richard Gere and Buddism...I read several books about it...in the end I just couldn't totally erase my own beliefs and morals (as demented and sick as they can be...hehehehhehe)
6:07 PM
Oh my gosh!!!! $365,000 to reach the top levels!
If I tithed faithfully at 10%, it would take me over 100 years to reach that level!!!
I think I'll stick with the more affordable models of religion.
Maybe you're right, Michelle. Buddhism sound pretty inexpensive.
Wow!!!
*Morris
9:47 PM
Morris, I have to agree with the "ick" factor. It seems like he went searching for a young pretty face that he could mold into his beliefs. She has switched over to his business people and she even sounds like him now. One is enough, thank you. No wonder Tom is so much in love with her... he's changed her into him.
4:45 AM
LOL...
As Mac Davis would say, "Oh Lord, it's hard to be humble, when you're perfect in every way...I can't wait to look in the mirror, 'cause I get better looking each day..."
*Morris
7:49 AM
L. Ron could very well be the Jimi Hendrix of Pulp Sci Fi. Like my fellow former Paratrooper, L. Ron has been far more prolific after an untimely demise than while purposefully pumping blood.
8:36 PM
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