Blog Spam

I guess the blog spammers have found me.
I know I should be honored, that it's a sign of "making it" in the blogosphere.
I should be jumping up and down like Navin Johnson in the movie "The Jerk" yelling "The new phone books are here! The new phone books are here!"
But it's really just a pain in the behind.
I'm constantly amazed at the lengths marketers will go to in order to hawk their sites and products.
It's bad enough that my e-mail "In Box" stays crammed with junk mail, offering me over 400 sources for that ever-important Viagra or Cialis.
Eventually I'll be old enough to need such medications, but I'm sure I'll have a brain hemorrage before I'm able to reach a decision about which of the 400 sources to use.
And to all of you poor rich folks in Nigeria who want me to help you smuggle your $14 million out of the country, I'm the wrong guy to ask.
In fact, I think they should start a club over there for all those unfortunate families.
If they were to pool all of their $14 million dollar inheritances, they'd have enough to buy themselves a decent country.
I think Guam is for sale.
In fact, after hurricane Wilma, I'm sure they could get a discount on the nation of Mexico.
After the e-mail blitz, I get to wade through the electronic War of 1812.
That's the conflict which spawned our "Star Spangled Banner."
These days, every time I fire up my browser, I'm bombarded with "Pop ups bursting on screen."
I use a Popup Stopper, but I have to leave the darn thing off in order to see certain sites that feature legitimate pop-ups (like my Fantasy Football site).
And of course, every site I visit has some form of advertising.
I'm guilty of this myself, since my site is now graced with its first advertiser.
Of course, that advertiser is me, with an ad for my new part-time computer business, so I'm not sure that counts.
And now the sales vermin have infiltrated the blogosphere, pretending to offer patronizing accolades about your blog before offering people a place to find the latest info on a 2006 Buick Lucerne, or intriguing merchandise pertaining to ceramic cactuses. (Or is it ceramic cacti?)
I'm glad they're finding my site.
It means that I exist on some search engine somewhere.
But even if I'm lost in the Sahara desert, I don't relish the vision of being found by the Cialis guy.

*Morris Workman